Me nyame is Gentleman Jim Corbett an although ahm not famous fre me boxing skills leik me illustrious namesake, ah also ahaad a world title....World Champion Moaner.

Well ahm noo finally bein honoured fre me moaning skills. Aa've been asked te gan te Prague te pick up a lifetime moaning achievement award. This is a geet award fre me; it means tha ahm noo bein recognised the world ower bi me peers.

Aa've been aal ower the world an ahm sick of bein telt , "Smile — gandie on the bright side?". Dyer feel guilty when yee admit you're having a bad dyah? ...... If yee answered aye te this question, yee are a victim o the "Don't worry, be happy" mentality tha is pervading America...... A cuntry aa've visited offan wi me geet friends...The Fat Pack. So far whilst in the states aa've:

Moaned on the Mississippi
Whinged in West Virginia
Complained in Chicago
Wailed in Wisconsin
Grumbled in Galveston
Lamented in Louisiana
Whined in Wyoming

Ahm noo known in the states as The Whinge Master General. But ah enjoy it, its a Geordies reet te hev a canny good moan, affta aal wi gave yee Robson an Jerome (actually ah discovered them) am not kidding yee man. Also ahm proud te announce ahm related te The Krankies. Did yee knaa, tha they are not Scots,but proper Geordies.. Little Jimmy Krankie is me cousin.

Whilst ahm taakin aboot some of me famous Geordie friends. Ahm proud o the fact ah used te gan fre ballet lessons wi Jimmy Nail,and ah used te bairn sit Ant an Dec.They still caal me Uncle Jimmy.

So it is wi geet honour tha ah will accept this award, an thank me wonderful friends The Fat Pack fre putting up wi me constant moaning................

Click on an image to enlarge. Take no notice of the date stamps on the pictures. Our photographer can't work out how to set up his camera.

P.S.........I hev me aan group in The Toon . Wor caal'd The Sad Pack
P.P.S......Since reaching 60 aa've started taking Viagra an drinkin prune juice - Ah divvent knaa if Ahm coming or gannin.
P.P.P.S...Ah also am trying Tantric sex,like advocated bi tha geet Geordie, Sting.
I can noo myek love fre eight hours, this included four ooaas of begging an then dinner an a fillum!